Forums » Walking the Talk

• kelisk8s

  
   

  September 15, 2009 2:51:18 AM PDT

  Sorry to rant... but I was at work the other day and this happened four times...  A woman walked up to me and my boss who were in the middle of a conversation.  She looks at us and loudly shouts: SCISSORS.  Not hi could you help me find scissors, or excuse me, do you know where scissors are?  No she shouted SCISSORS.  As if I was supposed to read her mind.  Who does that?  It happened four times in my 5 hours shift.  (Of course it was different items... safety pins, thread, and I think ruler or maybe it was dye... I work in a sewing store).  When did people stop treating other people like humans?  I think this is consumerism at it's best.  I can't wait to be out of retail forever.
  -Kelli.
  
  
• Jude

  
   

  September 15, 2009 4:26:47 AM PDT

  People have lost the skill to communicate and interact live and in person. We are more shocked now when someone is polite and happy. I blame cell phones and computers for problem.
• hutch54

  
   

  September 15, 2009 8:02:34 AM PDT

  It is the general lack of respect in our country . I don't beleive it has any thing to do with the electrionic age. People are telling us to be kind to others and if you do they think your weird or want something from them. I speak to most or atleast smile but you looked upon as a wacko.
• Christilin

  
   

  September 16, 2009 12:24:19 AM PDT

  Frankly I think it's very interesting to see the reaction I get from some people when I go out of my way to be friendly. My (grown) children are sometimes put out by the fact that I will talk to almost anyone given the very slightest reason! It's amazing how it shakes people out of the typical stupor of rushing through whatever they happen to be doing when you interrupt them with a friendly comment. I think most people are receptive and it can really make someone's day, so I try to notice small things that I can use to start an exchange, if not an actual conversation.
  
  Maybe if enough of us try to brighten at least one person's day every chance we get, it will start to catch on? It has to be done intentionally...
• Christilin

  
   

  September 16, 2009 12:30:05 AM PDT

  Jude, we should more accurately blame the of cell phones and computers. In and of itself, technology has provided opportunites for us that our parents could never even imagine, right? It's just up to me to discipline myself in the use of that technology, and to always value my human and family contact as a higher priority. :)
• shawn

  

  • 4 posts
   

  September 16, 2009 9:37:20 AM PDT

  Hi ya Kelli,
  
  I think its where we live. Too transient and no one stays put around here. My partner and I dropped into Portland, Seattle area Puayllup and some of the other places up there, and people were so much friendlier. We were shell shocked.
  
  Its the area.
• JustinDervaes

  

  • 30 posts
   

  September 17, 2009 1:16:19 AM PDT

  I would say it is a combination of factors....
  
  Some technology has 'helped' create a disconnect between people. I have seen when it happen when someone is connected to a cell phone, a blackberry or an ipod, they can become very disconnected from other people since they are in their own little world.
  
  Location is another issue - a lot of people have said (me included) that the Los Angeles area (aka La La Land) is one of the least friendly cities. There is little eye contact and it is a surprise if someone on the street says a friendly "hi!" (then you may freak out wondering if that person is up to no good.)
  
  Transient too is another thing - I think people move an average of every 5 years or so. A bunch of people in Southern California are here only temporarily.  Many just don't want to (or can't afford to) live here forever (can't blame them)  and most usually want to go back  home.  Just passing through.......
  
  
• Hillgarden

  
   

  September 17, 2009 2:12:39 AM PDT

  Good manners and common civility in public are skills that are learned from parents who model them. Many people seem to have lost the ability to distinguish when behaviors are appropriate in a setting and when they are not. Casual speech vs formal speech. Casual dress vs formal dress. This woman may wear her bathing suit to the grocery store (I saw this when I visited S. Cal. this summer). Young people, especially, seem to behave as they see characters in a sitcom on TV behave - perhaps that is the only behavior they see. One of the most difficult things to teach teenagers is this ability to know how to behave, how to talk, how to dress, depending on where they are and what they are doing. So many of them just don't get it. "Why can't I wear my pajama bottoms to school?" "Why can't I say anything I want to say anytime I want to say it?" It is call restraint, self-discipline and respect for others.
• SonomaWine

  
   

  September 18, 2009 3:19:39 AM PDT

  OK, since we are talking about it.  The thing I don't understand is how people loose all their courtesy and morality when the get behind the wheel of their car.  I see the same mom's that just finished helping in their child's classroom teaching the kids "No cutting in line......." cut me off in traffic to make the exit to the freeway while screaming pass her family/friends/neighbors in the non-exit lane. 
  
  I want to make a commercial where they show a parent and child are in the car and mom cuts someone off and gets a honk then the child says Mom No cutting in line.
  
  Just wish people would slow down a bit and do random acts of kindness not rudeness.
  
  I'm been on crutches for the last 9 weeks and have such a better perspective of random acts of kindness from the older guy that ran 50 yards to get the door for me at the bank......   To the lady that was disgusted how long I held her up while I was trying to open up a heavy door to get in a store (Yes, she watched while talking on her cell phone).
  
  I think I'll never be same after I get back to walking. I'll do my best to never take the simple things for granted.
  
  Have a Great Day!!
  Frank

• kelisk8s

  
   

  September 18, 2009 4:58:59 AM PDT

  Sorry you are on crutches Frank! I would have gotten the door for you! I wonder if kids are not getting the training and then they become adults who don't get it. I'm glad the last 5 years I have been able to teach my ice skating students how to have manners and not throw a temper tantrum at the ice rink (as I've seen so many do!) I'm hoping these lessons travel from the rink to their every day lives. I also agree that it may be this area. I am moving soon back to the east coast and my mother keeps warning me that people there are just as bad, but somehow I don't know. When I first moved here I remember being shocked at peoples behavior. I hope it hasn't made me grouchy for life! I think you start to develop a little shell around you when people are throwing that negative energy around and then it makes you grouchy =C I'm hoping when I get home that I don't have to work in retail cause I think that may have something to do with it too.
• Amiga

  
   

  September 20, 2009 1:53:58 PM PDT

  Kelisk8s, in my teacher training, there were some interesting numbers tossed out regarding kids' training. I cannot recall the numbers exactly, but one study showed that kids are on their own, without any adult guidance, from 70 to 90 percent of the time, as opposed to 30 years ago when those numbers were much smaller.
  
• Johnny4Jute

  
   

  September 20, 2009 3:21:25 PM PDT

   It's contagious.  Kellisk8, think about the persons that just shout out what they need- how many times have they stood by a store worker only to be ignored or treated with silence or nastiness after asking for help.  I'm not making excuses, just looking toward the root of the problem.  
  
  Many do need lessons or refreshers on how to act politely, and it's up to us "nice folks" to not let it get us down.  I believe we should keep on setting good examples by acting politely toward others.  Maybe it will make a difference...
  
• stacymckenna

  
   

  October 1, 2009 5:41:21 AM PDT

  Kelli - I hear ya! It sucks.
  
  I've been pleasantly surprised, though, while working the Bee Booth at the LA County Fair to find that many of the folk coming through are genuinely interested and typically very polite about their interactions, often thanking us for the information and time we donate to helping educate them. I do see a lot of interrupting each other to get questions in, but I tend to chalk that up to over-exuberance more than plain rudeness, and I'd much rather see excitement about the subject than downright meanness (actually haven't seen anyone badmouth what any of the volunteers have been teaching, thankfully!).
  
  Shopping seems to be a totally different category for people - the egocentrism/entitlement kicks in like nobody's business. Having relatives who work in retail, I am EXTREMELY polite to employees in retail situations. They're often surprised...
• Deleted Member

  
   

  July 8, 2011 2:22:33 AM PDT

  Retail is a hard place to work. I worked Walmart as cashier and supervisor until at long last my faith in the morality, humility and the simple goodness of folks dwindled to almost nothing. When it comes to customer service, it can be particularly drudging at times and rarely a good experience. It takes a special kind of person to be able to do it long term and keep a great attitude about serving others. I couldn't go on with that anymore and did get out of it. My faith in the human race has slowly restored itself, but it's taken a lot of years. Can't allow negative behavior to influence me...it's the best of it that I find to be divine and model myself after. I can't help what other people do or say, but I can make my own actions and words speak for the best within me.
• ruby

  

  • 2 posts
   

  February 17, 2012 1:48:46 PM PST

  Is it possible the woman demanding the scissors could have had an issue other than rudness? Could she have been Autistic?